


Five times Seamus was tortured, and one time it was just a dream.

by symphorine



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 5+1 Things, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, PTSD, Torture, happy ending I promise, more or less, or: that fic I had to look up death by asphyxiation for, psychological and physical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-20
Packaged: 2018-02-13 23:23:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2169195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/symphorine/pseuds/symphorine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seamus comes back for a seventh year at Hogwarts without his best friend. The year has barely started and the Deatheaters are decided to impose their own rules in the school - and the students are not going to just let that happen.<br/>But opposing them has consequences that you have to face...<br/>...and the news about Dean have apparently deserted this world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five times Seamus was tortured, and one time it was just a dream.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! this is my first time posting a work of this length in english, so I'm a little nervous, since it's not my first tongue. Thanks a lot to tumblr user [thefutureauthor](http://thefutureauthor.tumblr.com) for proofreading it.  
> I'm kinda proud of it, though. Or, well, I'd be if I hadn't written Seamus getting tortured so much. Maybe I should try to stop.  
> The end is happier than the rest, don't worry ^^  
> Enjoy :)
> 
> French version [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/970688)

 He had gone back to Hogwarts without much enthusiasm. At the end of the previous year already, he had had a long discussion with Dean, about what they would do. They hadn't had a lot of choices: it was either go back to school, like they would have done without thinking twice if Dumbledore had been still alive, or flee.

 Or at least, Dean would probably have to flee. He was muggle-born, and they didn't have to ask anyone what kind of treatment they had for those who had not witch, wizard or Death Eater as parents – they both were at the Quidditch World Cup. They weren't yet, at least officially, the ones to control the country, but both boys didn't have any illusion.

 It had taken hours to Dean to convince his best friend to go back to Hogwarts, even without him. I'll be safe, he had said, and I'll worry less if I know you are, too.

 “Safe, my ass!” Seamus exclaimed while kicking the seat before him.

 The Hogwarts Express didn't have as many passengers as usual, though the platform had been crowded, and he had a whole compartment for himself. The train had just left and he was already struggling with the thoughts that had tortured him all summer: the journey was looking unpleasant at best.

 Fortunately for him, not five minutes after his angry gesture, Neville, Ginny and Luna made an eruption in his compartment. Relieved, at least a little, to have something else to think about, Seamus tried to give them a sincere smile, that firmed up when they sat with him. They instantly began to talk to him about the DA, the fake galleons, what they were going to do this year – no way were they going to let the Death Eaters rule the school! –and Seamus nodded along, memorizing every single thing they said.

 When, after being done with the briefing, they wished him a nice trip and went to look for other members of Dumbledore's Army, having carefully avoided to mention his best friend – or the fact that he was missing –, he was happy to have something to focus on that wasn't his family or Dean.

 At this point, he would have been willing to read _Hogwarts: a History_ to do so.

 

***

 

 It didn't take long for the first punishments to rain. Despite the obvious efforts of the majority of the teachers to avoid sending students to the Carrows like they were supposed to, anyone that wouldn't do what was expected of them during a lesson of Dark Arts or Muggle Studies couldn't escape a visit.

 Seamus' first punishment was, without surprise, inflicted to him because of a protestation he made during one of the latters. Barely three days after having started the year, he was sitting in a clear and cold room, forced to listen to Alecto Carrow denigrating Muggles in a way that would probably have made the Dark Lord himself jealous.

 He felt the anger rising in him from the moment she called them “usurping pigs”. Clenching his fists, he tried to contain himself and not explode right here and now, but the more she talked, the more he was seeing red. “vermin”, “sub-humans”, “unworthy to live”, “depraved” - his father was nothing like this - “stupid and dirty” - no Muggle deserved to be treated like this - “retarded” - and least of all by and idiot so ignorant and with an IQ so low she probably didn't even know what IQ meant - “incapable” - and she was _smiling, smiling again and again_.

 “SHUT UP!”

 Alecto turned in his direction, her smile getting even larger. He was standing, furious, and looking at her, full of barely contained hate and rage.

 “Something to say, boy?” she asked in a sugary tone. “It's really not a good idea to interrupt me, you know?” she added without according him any time to talk. “But I have to say that with a father like yours, I'm not surprised that your mental capacities aren't the best.”

 Seamus roared with fury and all the lamps exploded, projecting pieces of glass everywhere. Alecto lost her smile for a moment and used a quick charm that he didn't hear, deafened by his blood pulsating loudly in his temps.

 He had no memory of losing consciousness, but he woke up in one of the cells next to the Potion classroom, his wrists linked to the wall by the chains Filch had recently oiled. Alecto was in front of him and looking at him contemplatively, as though she were thinking about something.

 When she realized he was conscious again, she stood up and walked until she was only a few steps away from him, without according any attention to the furious expression he was wearing.

 “ _Endoloris_ ” _,_ she hissed, pointing her wand at him.

 He didn't remember what happened after either. But when he woke up again, lying in one of the infirmary's bed, his body hurting so much that he couldn't breathe without feeling pain, he was glad that he couldn't.

 

***

 

 The alarm was showing two in the morning when Seamus got out of under his blankets, putting his feet silently on the ground. He vaguely distinguished Neville doing the same, slipping in his shoes. After watching out for any suspect noise for a few seconds, they both got up and opened the door of the dormitory that they were now the only ones to use. The common room looked empty. At least, nobody was talking or walking, apart from them.

 The two young men went quickly down the stairs, and were joined a minute later by Pavarti. They smiled to each others, the moonlight shining through the windows, and walked in unison toward the exit.

 The Fat Lady let them out without complaining, asleep. Neville took a little wooden wedge out of his pocket and placed it between the portrait and the wall, making sure it was invisible from the corridor then caught up with his two friends, who were already moving forward as silently as they could.

 Neville, Ginny and Luna had established turns: each week, a group constituted of a few students of a house sneaked out of their common room in the middle of the night, to go show that Dumbledore's Army was still here and resisting.

 That night, they were supposed to paint on a wall leading to the dungeons the following message: “Dumbledore's Army, still recruiting!” A classic, but that invariably made the Death Eaters scream in anger when they found it.

 All the members of D.A. knew that it didn't mean anything real, obviously, except to show that they were still here and active: they knew, however, that they had another meeting the next evening to train. Neville had sent the information using the fake Galleons two days prior, but provoking the Carrows was a pleasure that they happily granted to themselves – two months and the two Death Eaters still didn't understand how they could keep meeting up. It drove them crazy. They let off steam by giving more punishments, of course, but the students were holding on, some even provoking them voluntarily to spare the youngest and most vulnerable ones to suffer the siblings' anger.

 All things considered, Seamus estimated that they weren't doing so bad. They would get blows and bruises when they were insolent, but even the half-blood were never in danger of death. They were however the favorite torture subjects of the Carrow, and made sure as often as they could to only commit minor “infractions” - make an object near Amycus' head explode in the middle of one of his sermons, for example.

 Nobody had ever gotten caught during a nightly expedition. The first thing they had all trained for was the Disillusionment Charm, which the three Gryffindors had used after engaging in a dimly lit corridor. Hidden like this, amidst the shadows, they were very hard to spot – which hadn't reassured Lavender, who had had the fear of her life when Ms. Norris had leapt towards her, the first time it had been her turn.

 Once arrived at the exact place they had chosen, Seamus and Neville whispered a few words to Pavarti, who rose her wand hurriedly and began to trace the text on the wall every student going to a Potion class would go past. The two boys were standing guard at each extremity of the corridor, attentive to the smallest noise, the smallest light. Indeed, since their third action of this type, Snape had established night patrols.

 Turned towards the end of the corridor, Seamus glanced from times to times in the direction of Pavarti, who was writing the message as quickly as she could without making it impossible to read. He thought that Dean would have drawn something to make it more insulting, maybe a caricature. Or maybe he would have talked about that muggle expression that involved “changing a light bulb” and, realizing almost nobody was understanding, would have laughed and explained the joke. Or maybe not, maybe he'd have preferred to be one of those who protected the first years, who raised their voices in class, and ended up in the infirmary at least once a week.

 He couldn't imagine that Dean would have stayed neutral and unstirred. His friend would never have stood Hogwarts' atmosphere this year. He would have done everything he could to undermine the Carrows' regime and prevent them to impose themselves.

 “Amycus, hurry up!” a woman's voice whispered furiously he now could have recognized between thousands.

 Seamus jumped and threw a panicked glance towards Pavarti as he rose his wand. He heard footsteps getting closer, too rapidly to his taste, and heard Neville murmuring to Pavarti that she should go, while the girl was finishing the last word. He heard them fight in a hushed tone, Pavarti answering that she was almost done, her voice suddenly covered by the Carrows'.

 “Did you hear something?” Alecto asked, still on the other side of the corridor's corner, barely one meter away from Seamus, who was slowly backing away to avoid the light their wands were projecting.

 “There's someone here!” her brother answered with a growl. “ _Stupefy!_ ”

 Fortunately for Seamus, the spell had been thrown at random and missed him by a good forty centimeters. He turned around to run and met the terrified eyes of Neville, who apparently couldn't hold his Disillusionment Charm any longer. They heard the triumphant exclamations of the Carrows right behind him and the beginning of a detection spell.

 “Run!” they cried at the same time in the general direction of Pavarti, just before they threw themselves on the ground to dodge the lines of light that flooded out of the Death Eaters' wands.

 “ _Petrificus Totalus!_ ” Neville yelled, running to help Seamus, who was now visible too.

 “ _Tarantallegra!_ ” he said right after Neville, turning to face their opponents.

 “ _Impedimenta!_ ” Alecto exulted with glee, entraving Neville, while her brother disarmed Seamus and immobilized him too.

 It was over as soon as it had begun. The two Gryffindors exchanged a quick glance before lifting their chins up, refusing to yield in front of the two teachers.

 “Well, well, well... how surprising,” the brother sniggered when he saw their face. “Finnigan and Longbottom.”

 “We're bringing them to Filch,” the other Death Eater ordered with an almost disappointed tone. “He'll just have to hang them up and come clean this,” she added, raising her wand to light the message written by Pavarti. “Our watch is over in fifteen minutes, we're not going to lose time with these two.”

 “As you wish,” Amycus answered, looking less happy than before.

 He took their wands and gave his mobility back to Neville, placing himself behind them to prevent any escape attempt, as his sister was leading them to the caretaker's office – and the chains he had carefully oiled at the beginning of the school year. Filch's reaction to the regime change hadn't surprised anyone, but the students still had been shocked to realize how much it _pleased_ him. Not once had they seen compassion or disgust in him related to what they were inflicted.

 Alecto knocked with force on the door, which opened almost immediately on the caretaker still up and dressed, despite the late hour. A nasty smile stretched his thin lips when he saw the two students.

 “Ten hours should be enough,” Amycus said.

 Filch nodded without abandoning his smile, then went back in the room to appear again a few seconds later, a bung of keys in a hand, a lantern in the other.

 “Follow me, follow me,” he muttered while showing the way, leading them to a corridor just made of cells. Two persons were already in them, but they couldn't see them, and only deducted from the metallic noises and the cries behind the doors that they were occupied. Finch brought them to the middle of the hallway, far from the first two students, and opened two cells next to each other.

 He pushed Neville inside first, made him get on a stool and brought the chains down with enthusiasm. He closed them on the young man's wrists, whose confident front was threatening to purely break at any moment. He was trading panicked looks with Seamus, but none of them could do anything.

 Filch firmly clasped the iron bracelets and forced Neville to put his arms up by pulling on the other end of the chains. When it seemed that he could pull more, the caretaker blocked the chains and gave a vigorous kick in the stool, leaving Neville without anything to stand on but thin air. The Gryffindor let a surprised gasp escape but gritted his teeth, refusing to give in. The two Death Eaters smiled to him as they pushed Seamus out of the room, towards the second cell.

 “Good night, Longbottom!” Alecto exclaimed with glee while pulling her prisoner by his arm.

 When they were all out of the room, Filch pushed the heavy wooden door, closing it on a Neville whose expression was hesitating between fear and defiance. He then limped to the second door and subjected Seamus to the same treatment, stretching his arms as high as possible under the satisfied looks of the Carrows, before pushing the stool aside in the same way he had kicked it away from Neville.

 He brought the lantern with him when he left, and Seamus found himself in the dark. The silence fell rapidly, the sound of the chatter between the Carrows and Filch and the sound of their footsteps, smothered by the walls, going away quickly.

 It didn't take long until he heard the first _other_ noises: the water drops falling, slipping from the ceiling; the squeaks of rats and mice coming from the walls; the cold air circulating in the hallways and blowing under the door, hissing in the narrow openings; the hooting of an owl that was surprisingly clear; and finally, the rattle of the chains, that came in contact with each other every time he moved even only a little.

 It took a little longer for him to really begin to hurt. His shoulders became numb, but the dull ache he felt didn't soothe. Then his wrists, bruised by the tight iron bracelets, began to send jolts of pain through his arms. He felt his hands becoming cold, his fingers stiff and barely flexible anymore, his elbows twisting in a painful angle.

 Later, he began to feel his shoulders dislocate, the uncomfortable sensation almost hidden under the throbbing pain emanating from his arms. He was close to crying, but the few sobs that he had allowed himself had almost strangled him.

 He hadn't heard anything new. Not one footstep, even from the floor above him. He didn't know how much time had passed. He had tried to call Neville, but his friend hadn't answered. Then his breathing had shortened too much for him to waste it like this, and he had given up.

 After what felt like an eternity spent contemplating the indistinct outline of the door while trying to ignore the cold humidity insinuating itself under his clothes and the shooting pain coming from his arms, at last Seamus detected what sounded like a scraping noise. It became louder, and he heard a murmur following it, deafened grunts visibly emitted by someone in a bad mood. Probably Filch, who had tried to make the message Pavarti had written – Seamus wished him all the fun in the world.

 After that passed what had to be hours before, finally, he heard noise coming from somewhere above him. Footsteps that felt like they were flying over his painful and numb hands, then the almost silence of his cell again. The first class of the day had begun, but it couldn't be more than eight o'clock, and it was still as dark and cold for him.

 An ice-cold drop of water slid along his arms, offering an incredibly pleasant sensation against his tortured skin, then came to lodge itself in his neck and go down his back.

 Then another.

 Seamus focused on his breathing, but it only made things worse. His eyes were stinging and his eyelids were falling.

 Another again.

 He closed his eyes, trying to rest. The uncomfortable position didn't allow him to fall asleep.

 And another one.

 It was getting even colder.

 And another one.

 He'd never be able to sleep.

 And another one.

 Someone came and left, accompanied by a creaking sound. One of the other two students had probably been freed.

 And another one.

 There were other footsteps. He couldn't feel his hands anymore.

 And another one.

 The cramps in his back began to harass him too. He moved his neck a little, and it made a cracking sound.

 And another one.

 His shoulders were on fire.

 And another one.

 Breathe in.

 And another one.

 Breathe out. A rat ran very fast under his feet.

 And another one.

 Another cell opened. Someone was crying.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 And another one.

 The door opened with a horrible creaking.

 “So, did you have a good morning, Finnigan?” Alecto smiled, just behind Filch.

 

***

 

 The bell rang and the corridors were already crowded when Seamus got out. Christmas had passed and the situation hadn't gone any better. No news of Harry, Ron or Hermione, dead people in every corner, and his mother wrote barely three words to him in her letters since he had told her he wanted to stay for the holidays.

 She understood, he had explained himself, but she wanted to _see_ him again so much. Make sure that he was okay. That he was alive. Hold him in her arms again.

 He was alive. He was far from okay. He didn't have the heart to inflict that to her.

 “Seamus? You alright?” Neville asked softly when he realized his friend wasn't walking anymore, staring into the empty space.

 He, too, looked duller than usual. Luna hadn't come back with the Hogwarts Express, and they hadn't received any news from her either, not even something through the Galleons. The Potterwatch broadcasts were listened to and commented with great enthusiasm in the Gryffindor common room, but although the Weasley twins and Lee Jordan's humor made the contents more bearable, it seemed that these days, there was nothing comforting to say. Seamus had thought he could have news from Dean, only to find that he was missing again. He was starting to fall into despair.

 “Yeah, I'm alright,” he finally answered, the flow of students completely dry.

 Neville didn't comment. They went together down to the Great Hall, their steps heavy and slow. Most of the students were already seated around the tables and eating with appetite. They joined Ginny, who was seating away from the others, and sat in front of her.

 The two boys helped themselves and took a few bites, but Seamus put his fork down pretty soon. He wasn't hungry. The food didn't have any taste. He chewed automatically, mechanically, what he had already in his mouth and swallowed, but didn't take his knife and fork again. He fixed his plate for a moment then let his eyes drift, giving little attention to the discussion between Neville and Ginny beside him. The peaceful buzzing of the conversations suddenly died, however, and his two friends abruptly stopped talking.

 All the heads turned in one direction, where a Ravenclaw student was staring defiantly at Amycus, standing in front of him, a cup in her hand. The Death Eater was covered with pumpkin juice, his clothes stained and dripping, and he was trembling with rage. The young blonde girl, who must have been aged of no more than fifteen, didn't allow herself to be intimidated, and lifted fiercely, despite the fact that he was ten centimeters taller and at least sixty pounds heavier.

 “Don't. Ever. Speak ill. Of my family. Again,” she articulated, the cup shaking in her hand.

Amycus slapped her violently with the back of his hand, making her losing her balance. The girl stumbled and fell, hitting her head on the table's bench, and the Death Eater took his wand out and pointed it at her.

 “ _Protego!_ ” Seamus exclaimed, grabbing his own wand and reacting at lightning speed.

 He wasn't the only one who has cast the spell. Half a dozen of similar charms sent the Carrow brother flying several meters away from the student, who wasn't getting back up. He was, however, the only one to have shouted it so loud. The little mean eyes of the man immediately set on him when he got up, and Seamus adopted the same attitude as the Ravenclaw girl, his own wand pointed at the Death Eater.

 “ _Endoloris_ ,” Amycus hissed, boiling with rage.

 The spell took the Irish boy by surprise and he couldn't repress his shriek of pain. Neville and Ginny tried to stop it, but nothing worked, and everything was _…_.

 The spasms and suffering stopped and his body relaxed all of a sudden, falling on the ground, his head knocking hard on it. Seamus opened his eyes and glanced at Carrow, just in time to see him raise his wand a second time and he screamed again.

 A liquid fire was running in his veins, devouring his heart and lungs, tens of stones were hitting his stomach and his arms, hundreds of sticks were hammering his back and his legs, thousand of needles were piercing his skin, the taste of blood was invading his mouth and he knew he was screaming, screaming loud, but it hurt too _much_.

 Everything stopped, all at once, and he could breathe again. The air irritated his already sore throat even more, and when Ginny helped him to get back on his feet, he felt the hand she put behind his head sticking to his hair.

 “Next time I'll make you regret you were ever even _born_ , Finnigan,” Amycus spit, his voice reaching Seamus ears in a strangely muffled way.

 He noticed from the corner of his eye that Neville was waving his own wand under the table and whispering something, and Carrow suddenly found himself confronted to a boil eruption.

 “Who did this? _Who?_ ” he asked, his voice half strangled by anger. He was turning on himself, threatening all the students.

 Seamus took this as an opportunity to get up and, still supported by Ginny, discreetly get out of the Great Hall, while the Death Eater canceled the spell quickly and looked for a culprit. Most of the other students started to eat again, conscientiously applying themselves not to cross his eyes when he realized he had nobody to accuse. The friends of the Ravenclaw girl took her out of the room too, and followed Seamus and Ginny to the infirmary. She seemed still unconscious.

 “Seamus. Seamus, you're still with me?” the redhead asked, leading him down the stairs.

 “Mmmhph,” the Irish emitted.

 “It's going to be alright, Madam Pomfrey is going to patch you up, it's gonna be alright,” she murmured as she was gently pulling him along.

 Seamus raised his head and opened his mouth. No, it wasn't going to be alright. The Carrows were torturing all the students they weren't pleased with and almost nobody dared to say anything anymore, every inch of his body felt like it had been under a steamroller, Luna was missing and he still hadn't heard anything from or about Dean – _of course it wasn't going to be alright_.

 He fainted before he could say anything.

 

***

 

 “You're going to form pairs and cast the Imperius Curse on your partner. Make them jump on one foot, sing the Chinese national anthem, attack someone else, I don't care, as long as you prove that you can do it! Some of you have shown themselves mediocre in this exercise,” Amycus added, throwing an eloquent glare at the Gryffindors. “If you don't succeed today, you will have a detention, and I'll teach you myself.”

 He smiled viciously and gave the starting signal. Yet most of the students, seventh year Ravenclaw and Gryffindors – or at least, those who were still at Hogwarts and were still going to class, or weren't in the infirmary, or weren't on the Death Eaters' side – didn't move. Some took a few steps back, behind the other students, others seemed to be contemplating the idea of taking their teacher as a _partner_ , but none of them made any movement to cast the curse on someone else.

 “I see,” the Death Eater hissed. “Well... if you don't pair up and start to train right now, we'll have a little discussion with director Snape, and each and every one of you will get their stay with Filch. Now do it!”

 The threats were enough to make the most of the students decide to obey, and several pairs formed in the room, beginning half-heartedly and without real efforts to train. Most of them, anyway, were exhausted, broken. They had been resisting for months, and every week, the number of students in the dormitory decreased. Some ran away and back home, others would have bought a subscription to a permanent place in the infirmary, if there had been one, but those who stayed suffered. They were tired. They didn't really have the strength to tell themselves that they would risk a punishment to annoy the Death Eater. The detention that took place in Filch's cells were reputed to be horrible and almost make people lose their minds; and nobody, absolutely nobody, wanted to have to confront Snape right after the news of Potter's escape from the Malfoy manor had reached him. It had been barely two days, but he had constantly been in a foul temper and had in total taken a thousand points to the four Houses, including Slytherin.

 For Seamus, on the other hand, these last two days had been filled with relief. The very night of the escape, just when he had got out of a very unpleasant Potion class with the Slytherins, he had listened to Potterwatch with the others in the common room, and for the first time in months, he had heard of Dean.

 It wasn't much. They had to talk about other events, that had gone unnoticed but were important, about the others victims, but still, they were talking about the Survivor who had escaped the Death Eaters – and Dean was with him. The fake Galleon had heated in his pocket as he was listening to the broadcast. Dean was alive, safe and sound, hidden somewhere safe. He hadn't revealed the place where he was, but he knew he was with Harry – and Luna! Luna was alive too! – and for the moment, if was enough for Seamus. Dean and Luna were alive and safe. He had almost felt himself come alive again.

 He felt revived, full of energy, and above all, had the strength to defy the Death Eaters in charge of the school again. So he didn't turn toward Lavender, who hadn't raised her wand against him either, and waited patiently.

 “Finnigan, Brown, get to work,” Amycus grunted when he saw them from the corner of his eye.

 “No,” the Irish boy answered, a defiant smile stretching his lips.

 The buzz of the incantations and discussions died instantly. All eyes turned to him. He heard Lavender repress a small laugh. The Death Eater stopped moving for a fraction of second, then his wand split the air quickly in Seamus' direction.

 “ _Protego!_ ” Lavander exclaimed, deviating the blue light.

 “ _Stupefy!_ ” Amycus growled, aiming at her. “ _Sectusempra_ _!_ ” he shouted toward the Irish boy again.

 Seamus wasn't fast enough to dodge, and a big cut opened on his left arm, adding itself to the bruises and scars that were already decorating him, immediately letting blood pour out of him. He counter-attacked by petrifying him, not without receiving a second deep wound on his chest that made him stumble back. The teacher fell heavily on the ground, stiff as a board, and it only took a few seconds before the other students hurried towards him and Lavender. Someone brought her round, while a Ravenclaw girl, Lisa Turpin, roughly closed up his cuts.

 “It won't hold long, you need real medical attention, hurry up and go to the infirmary,” she said very fast as Lavender was getting back up.

 Her tone said that it wasn't open for discussion. The determined look on her face and the orders she gave indicated that she was taking the head of the operation. The two Gryffindors didn’t protest. They painfully stood up, Seamus being especially careful with his own injuries, and they quickly left to go see Madam Pomfrey.

 “I don't know how long we'll be able to keep on taking this,” Lavender murmured after a small minute of stumbling steps, forced to support her friend.

 “I don't know either,” he confessed, grimacing when he felt a sharp jolt of pain going through his arm. “But I refuse to give up.”

 “I wasn't talking about giving up,” the girl smiled as she helped him down the stairs. “I'm just saying they're more and more violent, lately. The only rarely tortured us when the year started, and when they injured us” – she made a head gesture toward his chest – “it wasn't as serious, nor as deep.”

 “We still have it kind of easy,” the Irish boy sighed as he staggered a little. “But the third years are terrified since what they made Euan suffer. And I understand why....”

 “The youngest too,” Lavender said bitterly. “But it doesn't stop the Carrows from punishing them anyway.”

 They exchanged a glance. They couldn't do much more than what they already were doing and they couldn't protect all of the other students. The teachers too did their part, and intervened as often as possible to prevent the Death Eaters to hurt the kids, but they couldn't really engage in a duel to death every time to make sure none of them would be unjustly punished.

 And they were only in March, which meant that the school year was far from over.

 They pushed the infirmary door at last, to see that several beds already had occupants, including Neville, who had suffered a particularly difficult detention two days earlier, even compared to the new standards.

 “Again!” Madam Pomfrey exclaimed as she ran to them.

 But more than irritation, it was resignation that could be read in her behavior, when she made Seamus sit down and began to close up his wound, sending Lavender to lie down a little further.

 It was a good question: how much longer could they hold on?

 

***

 

 Spring felt like it had been delayed by the multiple Dementors roaming all around. Fortunately, they weren't allowed to pass Hogwarts' surrounding wall, but April's end was nearing and the sun still only rarely appeared.

 Lavender's bad feeling had proven right. The Carrows didn't hesitate to directly hit the students anymore. Terry Boot ended up with a broken arm to have yelled in the Great Hall that Harry, Ron and Hermione had gotten in Gringotts and escaped with a dragon – a story that had given a smile to some people. Michael Corner had then been terribly tortured, after having been caught freeing first year students that were in detention in the cells. Neville himself had finally had to leave the dormitories three days before; chased by the Carrows, after the Death Eaters had failed to kidnap his grandmother, he had found refuge in the Room of Requirement, disappearing right under their noses.

 Several students had joined him since, after he had passed on the information thanks to the fake Galleons. More and more seventh years defied Snape and the Carrows in every occasion they had, now that they knew they had an escape hatch. Lavender had taken refuge there as well recently, having cursed Alecto in the middle of a Muggle Study class, when the Death Eater had said that the “Muggle-borns were worth even less than the Muggles themselves.” She had been faster than Seamus, that day.

 Seamus and Parvati were the last Gryffindors in seventh year, and had succeeded to not get caught in the act since a week ago they had begun to systematically deliver all the students that ended up in the cells. It drove Filch crazy.

 They were forcing a door behind which they knew a girl in second year was locked up when their luck turned at last, and a patrol made a sudden irruption behind them.

 “ _Petrificus Totalus!_ ” Parvati yelled, touching one of the gorillas directly.

 They were fifth and sixth year students, rather imposing, all from Slytherin according to their uniforms, and they didn't let themselves be destabilized. They fought back by trying to stupefy them, but the Gryffindor girl protected them both while Seamus finally opened the door and rushed inside to deliver the student. Parvati counter attacked, disarming a second opponent and sending a third fly, but they were still three more and they were getting dangerously closer.

 “ _Expelliarmus!_ ” Seamus cast, coming out hurriedly, pushing a little frightened ginger girl behind his back. Come, let's go!

 Parvati threw one last hex above her shoulder and all three started to run desperately, without being able to get away from the patrol. The little girl, breathless, struggled to keep up, and they turned in a long straight corridor.

 “We're making easy targets!” Parvati screamed to her friend as she glanced behind them.

 “I know!” he answered, seeing their pursuers as well.

 He then tripped on an ill-adjusted paving stone and fell on the ground. He rolled a few meters and stopped, crying out in pain, his hands gripping his ankle.

 “Run!” he ordered the two girls. “Parvati , don't wait for me and- _Impedimenta!”_

 The spell touched one of the Slytherins in the middle of the chest and he abruptly stopped, then raised his wand.

 Parvati 's hex reached him right to the head and she started to run again, the noise of the spells thrown by Seamus quickly reducing. She took the second year girl in her arms to go faster and soon found herself in another part of the castle, miraculously not crossing ways with another potential adversary.

 She suddenly stopped in the middle of a crossing, out of breath. The young student removed herself from her arms and stood up. She seemed still shaken, but relieved.

 “I can manage on my own from her,” she assured Parvati . “Thank you.”

 “Go, quick,” the Gryffindor breathed as she leaned against the wall, her legs like jelly.

 She didn't have to tell the other girl twice and the ginger began to run, taking the hallway to the right. Parvati gave herself a few seconds, the time to breathe normally again, then she went back on her steps, firmly holding her wand, ready to hew the first Slytherin or Death Eater she would see.

 She didn't go far before having to suddenly jump aside to dodge a Stupefy curse well cast. One of the sixth years of the patrol had caught up on her, and sported a nasty smile. She had a scratch on the arm, but didn't look exhausted by some kind of fight, and the girl instantly felt worried for Seamus.

 “ _Silencio!_ ” she said as she avoided another charm.

 She touched her target, but the Slytherin must have known nonverbal spells, because she attacked again. Parvati deflected the hex and approached, counter-attacking too. The hallway looked like it was illuminated by fireworks, and they turned around the other for a solid thirty seconds before she had an idea.

 “ _Accio wand!”_ she exclaimed, extending her hand to receive her opponent's weapon.

 Taken aback, she couldn't dodge her Body-bind curse, and fell stiff as a board, her face against the ground. Parvati heard a kind of snapping, but she didn't care and instead ran to the place she had left Seamus earlier.

 A dozen meters away from it, she heard a scream then, when she came closer, she distinguished suppressed grunts and punch noises. She accelerated and discovered the last two members of the patrol beating up an Irish boy in a very bad state.

 “ _Expelliarmus!”_ she yelled, aiming at the two boys, sending them flying a few meters away.

 They landed brutally and didn't get back up immediately, groggy, which left enough time to Parvati to make a shaky Seamus stand up. He had the nose visibly broken. The arch of his eyebrows was covered in blood, and the black eyes were already starting to form on his face. His split lips don't allow him to speak intelligibly and he was limping.

 “Run, run!” Parvati begged him when she saw the two boys getting up again.

 They weren't very far from the Requirement Room, if only they could reach it before getting caught....

 “ _Stupefy!_ ” two voices behind the Slytherins exclaimed.

 They immediately fell again completely unconscious, to let two young Ravenclaw students appear. They looked at each other, looking almost horrified by what they had done, then turned toward Parvati and Seamus.

 “Thanks,” the girl said, giving them a sign of the hand, precipitately going the other way.

 She helped Seamus drag himself to the Requirement Room, half carrying him. His head was nodding gently, and he was barely conscious. She let him slide to the ground to pass quickly three times in front of the statue and threw herself on the door that appeared then to open it.

 “Hurry, I need help!” she exclaimed.

 The few people in the room turned towards her, and Terry Boot went out to help her carry Seamus inside. When they put him in one of the hammocks, the Irish had fainted.

 “Clear out,” a familiar voice ordered behind her.

 She let Padma come close, holding a bottle of a blue potion in a hand, her wand in the other muttering formulas. Her twin sister had trained since the beginning of the year to master health spells, like most of the D.A.'s members: they simply couldn't spend her time going to infirmary for every scratch they received.

 Padma rapidly examined Seamus and started to heal his ankle. Parvati finally relaxed and sat on another hammock, soon joined by Lavender. Her friend smiled gently to her.

 “What happened to you?”

 “We were downstairs, opening Filch's cells, and a Slytherin patrol fell on us,” the young woman explained, rubbing her eyes. “Seamus fell and I had to leave him behind to make the second year girl we helped escape safely, then I came across one of the Slytherins when I went back, and by the time I was there, they were two against one and they were hitting Seamus as hard as they could. Then two Ravenclaws arrived and stupefied them, and I brought him here,” she explained.

 “It's gonna be okay, your sister is going to patch him up,” Lavender said.

 “We can't go back to the tower either,” Parvati whispered, a defeated look on her face.

 “Welcome in our own den, then!” her friend exclaimed with a cheerful voice.

 Parvati forced herself to smile, but her tiredness felt heavy, and Lavender must have noticed, because she helped her stand up again and led her to the hammocks under the Gryffindor banner.

 “I need a hammock for Parvati !” she said in a normal voice, not particularly addressing anyone.

 To her friend's surprise, a bright red hammock appeared in front of them, placing itself so perfectly between the others that it looked like it had always been here. It apparently came with a folded blanket and a small pillow.

 “Take some rest, and don't worry about Seamus, he's going to be absolutely fine,” Lavender smiled as she pushed her softly into the hammock.

 Parvati nodded, took off her shoes and jacket, and unfolded the blanket, turned towards the wall rather than having the room in front of her, put her head on the pillow, and had barely had the time to sigh that she had fallen asleep.

 

***

 

_It hurt, it really hurt. His knee was weirdly twisted but he was running, he had to run, the steps were getting closer and it was dark everywhere, except for the feeble light his wand was projecting before him to allow him to see where he put his feet. The hallway was getting longer and longer as he got further, and he stumbled again._

 “Endoloris!” _a voice behind him hissed._

  _He rolled on himself and barely dodged the spell, but he didn't go far before a dirty and used boot nailed him to the ground._

 “ _Finnigan again, huh?” Amycus Carrow smiled. “We should have known, after catching your little Gryffindor friends.”_

  _Seamus opened his mouth but nothing came out. He struggled, but the Death Eater's weight prevented him from moving away. His leg ached, its state had gotten worse when he had fallen. His own wand had rolled further on the ground, faded and impossible to reach. He was blinded when Carrow lowered his own in his face, projecting a powerful light directly in his eyes._

 “Seamus!”

  _He made him get up with a brutal movement, took his wand, and pushed him before him without caring about his wounded leg._

 “ _To Filch's, I assume you know where to go,” Amycus declared, his smile perceptible in his voice._

  _Seamus didn't have any choice but to walk. If he tried to escape, he wouldn't go far, and he didn't want to give the Death Eater a reason to use another spell on him. But he was limping and terrified._

 “Seamus!”

  _It took them less than five minutes to get to Filch's office. Lavender, Ginny and Colin were already here, kept at bay by Alecto and weaponless too. The two girls were sporting new scratches on their faces and Colin looked like he was about to faint, pale as death._

 “ _It's the last one,” the Carrow brother confirmed as he pushed Seamus toward the others._

 “ _Looks like we're going to have to think about new punishments,” his sister murmured suavely while caressing her wand. “Since you don't seem to understand with traditional methods” she nodded towards the caretaker. “I guess we'll have to take matters in our hands._

  _She indicated to Filch that he had to get out and whispered something to her brother. He agreed, and quickly tied up Ginny, Colin and Seamus. Lavender remained free, but paled considerably when she understood what was going to happen. Creevey was close to throwing up, Ginny was struggling and yelling, and he was trying to get out of the ropes, but he wasn't fast enough._

 “Seamus!”

 “Endoloris _” Alecto ordered._

  _Lavender start screaming, her body twisting in every angle possible, and she sagged on the ground, as if she were convulsing – but he knew why, he knew what it was, and her cries covered Ginny's, panicked and furious, and he could only watch and listen and cry, and Lavender was clawing at herself in pain-_

 “Seamus!”

 Seamus sat up suddenly, sweating, almost colliding with Dean. His breathing was short and quick, and it took him several seconds to remember where he was. When, finally, he realized he was in his bed, Dean next to him with a worried look, and out of the Carrows' reach, he began to calm down. Hid friend put an arm around his shoulders and hugged him tightly, as if to make sure he was really here.

 “It was just a dream, just a nightmare,” Dean murmured while he ran his fingers through Seamus' damp hair in an attempt to comfort him. “Just a nightmare.”

 “A memory,” Seamus' hoarse voice corrected.

 He closed his eyes and opened them again right away, horrified by his nightmare's scraps waiting for him behind his eyelids. It had been just before Easter, just before Ginny definitely left. They were writing text on the walls again, and then-

 “But it's in the past. It's over,” Dean said firmly, moving just enough to look him in the eyes. “You're safe now.”

 The Irish boy stayed silent. He had thought he was reliving this scene one more time. He thought his nightmares were over – he avoided them with his insomnia, and he knew it wasn't the best method, but at least, his sleep had become peaceful again – thanks to long gulps of Sleep potion. But they had gone to bed too early, the potion's effect had faded, and the memories had resurfaced soon.

 He shivered despite the heat in the room. Although the window was open and the breeze was caressing his drying skin, the air was heavy. The weather programs had been talking about a spectacular thunderstorm for a few days already.

 But weather wasn't enough to distract him, and even Dean's comforting proximity didn't stop Colin's screams to resound in his head again.

 “Seamus!” Dean said dryly, suddenly shaking him. “Look at me!”

 He obeyed, but looked away immediately, afraid of what his lover could see in his eyes.

 “It's not that easy, okay?” Seamus retorted, tearing away from his embrace. “It's not like I could stop thinking about it! I was _there_ , Dean. It's not just a nightmare.”

 His voice cracked on the last word and he started to shake slightly again, but he slid out of his friend's reach, turning his back on him to sit on the edge of the bed.

 He hesitated a few seconds before reaching towards the Sleep potion bottle resting on the ground, next to his bedside table, but a hand on his arm stopped him.

 “Drugging yourself to sleep won't make you get better,” Dean protested.

 “Then what am I supposed to do?” Seamus answered vehemently. “Hope it's going to stop?”

 “You could tell me about it,” his friend suggested, crossing his eyes again and refusing to look away.

 The Irish man opened and closed him mouth several times, unable to find a beginning of an answer or an explanation. Talk about it? He had tried to spare Dean as much as he could, to not revel to him everything that had happened. He had told himself that it was over, that it would pass, and that they both needed to think about something else.

 So he had barely mentioned the torture sessions and the detentions that had punctuated his seventh year at Hogwarts, and Dean had omitted most of his stay at the Malfoy's and of his general being on the run. They had told the evenings in the common room and the discussions with Luna and Ollivander, McGonagall classes and the multiple drawings, the D.A. sessions and the few days of respite at Bill and Fleur's. They had helped to rebuild Hogwarts, gone several times to see Lavender at the hospital while she was treated for the wounds Greyback had inflicted to her, had congratulated Neville for his bravery and his leader qualities – that had stayed mostly hidden during the majority of their time at the school. They had spent several long afternoons on the lake's banks, come back to see their respective parents and visited the other's parents after. Dean had seen his sisters again, Seamus had finally felt home again. Death Eaters were arrested all over England, the Ministry purged of its corruption. They had mourned the dead, too – professor Lupin, his wife, Fred Weasley, Colin Creevey, and so many others. Dean had really wanted to send a letter to Andromeda Tonks, and she had invited him to come see her. Seamus had reunited with his parents with an infinite joy, relieved that they were safe and sound – throughout the whole year, he had feared that the Death Eaters would try something against them to force him to stop causing trouble at Hogwarts. Then they had both decided to take a flat together in London, far from Hogwarts and from the places that brought back memories from this cursed year.

 The first thing they had done was to pass their Apparition license. Then Seamus had started to help Aberforth at the Hog's Head Inn, and Dean had begun to go out during his friend's work hours to paint and draw. They had spent a few nights at the Leaky Cauldron, meeting old students they knew, especially Hannah Abbot, who had served them Fire Whiskey then had sat with them to exchange news of their respective friends. Dean had also obtained a new wand at Ollivander's. They had assisted to the resumption of the magic world's life, step by step. One year after Voldemort's death, most things had gone back to normal.

 Except that Dean now proudly wore an engagement ring that had cost Seamus a good amount of money and an afternoon in a jeweler's shop, unable to decide.

 There had never been anything very official. Or at least, they had never really wondered: they were together, and that was it. They were holding hands in the streets and nothing felt more natural, and even though their first kiss had been a little weird, the second one – right after – had been a lot more satisfying. There hadn't been any great declaration – but in their conversations, small marks of affection had made their apparition.

 It's wasn't really anything new or staggering. They had since long known that there could be someone between them other than their friendship. But after a year spent worrying about the other and cheating death more times than they should have had to, they didn't want to act as if there was nothing between them.

 But they hadn't talked more about the moments Dean washed his hands too many times, or his slight paranoia, or the times he gripped his friend too strongly, as if to make sure he was real. They hadn't talked about the scars they both had either. And they hadn't talked about the times Seamus felt a sharp pain going through his whole body, echo of an evil spell he had endured too many times, or his refusal to sleep, or his recurring nightmares – _memories._ They hadn't tried even once to talk about what had happened during this year they had been separated.

 Maybe it was time to let this habit go....

 “I...” Seamus stammered at last. “It's like I was back to Hogwarts. I remember all the times- all the times the Carrows or Filch caught us or punished us. And believe me, it happened a lot. Madam Pomfrey had a lot of work,” he chuckled without joy.

 Dean said nothing, only took his hands in his own and pressed them gently.

 “That time was... was one of the worst. It was just before Easter, just before Ginny didn't come back. We were four – me, Lavender, Ginny and Colin. We were supposed to go out and write a message in front of the Great Hall, and come back as fast as we could. But they were patrolling and they saw us, and we all tried to run in different directions, to make it more difficult for them, you know? In the end,” he sniffed while trying not to let his tears flow free, “they all caught us anyway and...and...and brought to Filch, and... They tied us up, except Lavender, and the Carrow sister used the Dolores on her...

 He gave up and let his cheeks get wet. A lump in his throat, he kept talking.

 “After that it was Colin's turn, then me, then Ginny. When they tortured one of us, they made the others watch and listen, and we literally couldn't do anything. They had taken our wands and we were tied and they were _torturing_ -“

 “It's over. It's over,” Dean repeated as he kissed lightly his damp cheeks. “It's behind you….”

 He held him in his arms, letting Seamus sob in his shoulder, and whisper a flow of comforting words.

 Several minutes passed before he finally calmed down and raised his head again, his eyes red. He gave Dean a weak smile and kissed him, slow and quiet, then laid his forehead against his fiancé's, still sniffing a little. He put his hands around Dean's neck and let them rest here, breathing the warm and comforting smell of his friend.

 “Let's go back to sleep?” Dean softly offered.

 Seamus nodded and they both lied down, huddled together.

 They fell asleep with a small smile on their lips.

**Author's Note:**

> So, who hates me now? :D  
> A few explanations on two points:  
> -I used friend to talk about Dean and Seamus in the last scene not because I wanted to make it more ambiguous or whatever, but because I believe that romantic love is different from friend love, but that you can have both. I just wanted to say that, in case it made you wonder.  
> -second point, more important: the patrol guys and girls are all Slytherin here, but I do not believe that all the Slytherins were evil, or that all the people in the others houses were good guys, either. However, I imagine that peer pressure didn't allow most of them to express their true feelings and thoughts, and I didn't want to develop on that in this OS, so I didn't say anything more than the thing about the uniforms. Just wanted to say it. I'd be glad to discuss it, too :D
> 
> I hope you liked it ^^


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